Am i right or wrong?

imagine this:
1-you are in a team that nobody understands the other.
2-when there is a meeting at for example at 4, you attend and the leader comes at least 30 minutes late and always have non sense excuses, and when it comes to others who come late, he/she gets mad.
3- the leader tells the team that it is a team work and every one should share ideas, comments and stuff and when we try to say any thing, he/she tell us: I'm the leader and i decide.
4-many things happened that pushed some of the members to quit the team and every single person who quited has the same reasons I'm talking about now.
5- our leader wants us to obey the rules he/ she orders us to do and then this leader does not obey the rules he/she is given by the bigger boss.
6- as a result of not obeying the rules, something was not accepted because of the leader's late submission, and the whole team have to pay the price.
Do i have the right to get mad???
am i wrong to be pissed off and scream in the leaders face telling him/her the how careless he/she is?
OK i did raised my voice and the leader couldn't accept it from me, but do you think i have the right to do that?
i find myself completely on the safe side and i think that i had the right do explode because i had enough, but now i can't sleep and i would love to know, did i have the right to do so??
if yes, then I'm gonna force myself to say sorry, if not , I'm fine.

Struggling between the two!

Now this is so serious, i always get the feeling that i have no aim in life. even if i have things that i like to achieve, i do not think that they are more important that thinking of my end :/

i think that life is sometimes beautiful, sweet, and fun to live in, but on the other hand, i feel that life is starting to be scary.

when i think of death, i feel it is the best solution to get rid of all the pressure in life that you can not bear. closing your eyes and rest in peace and forget about misery in life. but the things that make me afraid of death are my mistakes :"(

i know i have alot of mistakes, even though i do not mean to make mistakes but at the end I'm just a human and i make mistakes. i don't know if God loves me or not, i don't know if God forgives me for every mistake i make. but i really want to be a better person so that when i get rid of life, i can go to a better place, not worse.

Esmillah 3lekom kilkom. but this does really come to mind sometimes when i think alone.

Weekend is Boring

Do you think Thursday, Friday, Saturday weekend is better than Wednesday, Thursday, Friday?
well i don't like our weekend now adays. i think that Friday should be the last day of the week. imagine that you come from collage on Thursday, tired and wanna relax, and then there is Friday, every where is closed, people are going to 9lat elyim3a to pray and it is like time has stoped, but it is still week end. and then there is Saturday, you can do what ever you want but there is this preparation for the beginning of the week so Saturday becomes boring.
7lata lma kan Wednesday, trta7, Thursday, t6la3 o tstanas, and Friday, go to pray, prepare for the week. kan much awnas :/

Life is more than hard to understnd...

I wonder, how am i continuing my life without any plans. i don't know why, i tried to look for a job, but i was not accepted yet anywhere. i planed to start some sort of business but didn't succeed. i find it hard to get into real life. sometimes i feel like a baby and wait for my dad to decide for me, but sometimes i feel this power inside myself that tells me that i should fight myself to get what i want. at the very end, i feel lost. and however i struggle, try, and fight, i still realize that i was going in a circle and returned back to where i was standing at the very beginning.
How will i fit? how will i be someone when I'm just standing at the same place and whenever i move one step forward, i go steps backward. i don't feel like depending on dad and mom to pay for me. but how ever i try, i cant find a solution for this. the only thing that comforts me is crying at the very end of the day, when there is no one to hear me :/
any solutions?

expressing feelings.

Every time i end my day with a night that makes me think, what have done today?? have i hurt any one's feelings? have i said something wrong? have i done something bad?
Then i get into more details and it bothers me more that sometimes people don't think the way i think, when i feel that I've said or did something bad to someone and i spend the whole night just thinking about what i did and confuse my mind with ideas and plan trying to find a way to say sorry, then i find out that there was nothing wrong with that person...i feel stupid, bad, and embarrassed at the same time. i try not to think later on, but i can't...i just can't. i think i cant find a way out of this and I'm stuck with fake thoughts forever :(

cockie

As an introduction, i would like to start with my cat :) Coockie